It was a sad day in America when celebrity couple Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy announced their break up after being together 40 years. The couple asked for privacy during this tremendously difficult time!
Breaking up with someone can be a devastating experience. Whether we broke up with a dating relationship or a spouse, it can lead to deep feelings of anger, depression, sadness, hurt and mourning. It’s what we do with those feelings that makes a difference in how we recover.
Jan Hamilton, psychiatric nurse practitioner and founder of Doorways, a Phoenix, Arizona counseling clinic that exclusively treats teens and young adults, says “Breakups are hard, there’s no doubt about it” and offers these tips to help get over a breakup:
1. Give yourself time. Even when a breakup is the best option it is still painful. You are going to hurt, you will get angry, you will be sad, and that is okay. It’s normal. You should allow yourself to go through these emotions. It takes time to heal.
2. Unfollow. Stop following your ex on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and any other form of social media they may have. While you are at it, stop following his/her family too to avoid any chance of your ex popping up in your feed. You aren’t blocking them because you dislike them, you are doing it to help yourself move on.
3. Let go of negativity. When you let negative emotions rule your life the only person you are hurting is yourself. Don’t talk negatively about your ex. Instead engage in activities that promote positive feelings such as singing and listening to uplifting music, going for a walk, or watching funny movies. Or better yet, volunteer! Find a cause that you believe in and get involved. You’ll be amazed at how good helping other people makes you feel!
4. Forgive them: Forgiveness is often a way to get freedom in your life. “When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself.” –Lewis B. Smedes, Forgive and Forget
5. Find yourself again. It is easy to lose yourself in a relationship. A breakup gives you the time to discover “you” again. Take this opportunity to look at who you were before the relationship, who you were during the relationship, and who you want to be in the future. Make sure that you recognize your self-worth. Your relationship ended, but you are not a failure.
6. Spend time with friends. Surround yourself with loving and supportive people. They help you remember how to have fun and help to rebuild your self-esteem.
Follow these steps and remember to take care of yourself. Over time you will find that the pain has ebbed and you are moving on to future happiness.